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I’d stayed off of OkCupid for a while before I met Marvin. I was tired of the bullshit - the endless series of messages not going anywhere (hey…hey….how r u…wat u doin?) or the dirty introductions (you want to put your what in my where?), or the men who just asked the stupidest questions (Oh, you want to know why I’m single? Let me count the ways…). So, it was a breath of fresh air when Marvin’s text popped up in my inbox. His message contained punctuation, which is more than I can say for most messages I receive. I clicked on his profile - mid thirties, an engineer, lived in Anaheim, liked to travel. Seemed like a catch. He was shorter than I liked ( he was 5’7 - and I’m 5’5) but at this point, I feel like I can’t pass up an opportunity on a decent guy just because he’s not the desired height. Sure, I’ll give it a shot. He wanted to meet me on a Friday night. At 8:30 pm. I reluctantly agreed - bed sounded a whole lot better, but I figure that staying in bed won’t help me to meet my future partner. We met at the Southland - a bar that turns into a nightclub around 8:30 in the evening, unbeknownst to me. We got a drink, and sat close to one another on the purple velvet couches. I could feel the warmth of his leg against mine as he inched closer to me. As the DJ began his set, Marvin and I had to yell in each other’s ears to be heard. Sexy. I really thought I was done with the nightclub scene - I’m not in my early twenties anymore. Ugh. Trying to ignore that. He had no idea that that was the vibe of this place. I can’t place the blame on him. He had good intentions. Despite the loud music, we sat and chatted for a good two hours - I learned that he was a twin, was close with his family, went to the gym on a regular basis, and loved to play basketball. I knew I would go out with him again; I wasn’t completely in love with him, but he hadn’t done anything to bar us going out again. My general rule is to give someone three dates before I make a decision about them. At the end of the date he told me he was driving up to Bakersfield that night to surprise his mom for her birthday. Ok, that is sweet. We agreed we would see each other again. I told him to text me, and we said goodnight. I waited for his text. And waited. And waited. It never came. I felt disappointed, yet again. Sad. I wasn’t even that into this guy, but I was still frustrated that he had ghosted me. I forgot all about him, and time marched on. I was still on OkCupid, as well as Tinder, but not dating anyone. Still exchanging pointless messages back and forth with different men. One day, Marvin’s picture came up on Tinder. For the hell of it, I swiped right. Apparently he had swiped right on my photo too, because it came up that we were a match. He messaged me almost immediately. Him: Hey, what happened to you? Me: You never called! Him: Oh, well, clearly I’m an idiot. Yeah, duh. He asked if I wanted to try again. Sure, why not? What have I got to lose? We agreed to go out for happy hour the following week on Thursday. We didn’t text much in the between, but as the date got closer I realized how much I was dreading going out with him. I was sad I was going to be missing my Thursday spin class. He did me a favor when he texted me: hey sorry but I’m canceling tomorrow night That seemed rather abrupt. I hadn’t heard from him in two days, and that was the first text he sent me. Ok. I texted back. I wondered if he was going to give me an explanation, or if he would reschedule. I let ten minutes go by before I realized that was the only text he was going to send me. My schedule is busy, and I don’t have time to mince words, so I got straight to the point with my return text. So are we done here? I wasn’t sure what his response text would be, but I honestly didn’t care. (You can tell I’m really invested in what’s happening, right?) Yes he replies back. Well, I didn’t see that one coming. Wow. Cool. Thanks. I am so over this scene. Met someone I had chemistry with. I only pursue one woman at a time. I don’t like going on many dates with different women. Sorry but she’s been really great. I felt a mix of emotions. On one hand, I was thankful that I didn’t have to go on the date, and satisfied that he at leas had the decency to text me this time to tell me it was over. On the other hand, I was mad at him for wasting my time, and mad at myself for daring to give him a second chance. Disappointment set in at yet another failed dating experience. On the up side, I could now make it to my spin class! At this point in my dating career, given the choice between a date and a workout, I would rather pick the workout….because at least I know the workout will be good.

#firstdates #dating #flakes #engineers #engineer #workout #date #club

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